the knockoff

i heart

2011-02-14T15:15:00.000-08:00

my boo flew to vegas this morning so im a little lonely today but i'd be content with any of these...

"HAPPY HALLMARK HOLIDAY TO ALL THE LOVEBIRDS AND THE LONERS"

give me space

2011-02-09T06:12:00.000-08:00

i couldn't help but to make one of these myself...

i never got the memo

2011-02-08T08:34:00.000-08:00

such a disappointing thing when you find something like this out, and all the while you believed in thee exact opposite. My boyfriend must have known what he was doing the whole time....

rubber necking

2011-01-28T15:18:00.000-08:00

Bummer

oh great

2011-01-26T20:25:00.000-08:00

just realized after how ever many months that i was tagged in this picture on facebook..

just making my family members proud i guess.

what best friends are for

2011-01-25T12:30:00.000-08:00

the best part is.. this is a serious conversation. no pillow fight should ever be had with shirts on.

so he says.

2011-01-24T11:57:00.000-08:00

-sure it's from november but its always nice to look at something so reassuring.

influential nursery rhyme pt1

2011-01-18T07:24:00.000-08:00

Im not by any means a stoner- nor do i enjoy getting high every now and then- in fact i've only smoked once within the last 5 years. (which i find to be TREMENDOUSLY note worthy in world where mary jane controls many artistic minds.) i threw this piece together while watching first 48 on A&E. Not sure how it came about in my head but when i repeated the verbiage to myself i thought it made for the perfect pot smoker novelty. i hope to add to this influential nursery rhyme theme.. perhaps focusing on little bopeep.. or old mother hubbard.. who knows.

panty dropper

2011-01-13T19:02:00.000-08:00

threw this one together and printed it out at work on a large scale printer poster size... it now hangs above my bed.
constant reminder of where the magic will always happen.

my first name is hurricane .. not danielle

2010-08-26T20:01:00.000-07:00

GIRL CRUSH

2010-08-23T11:45:00.000-07:00

I dont care how many people think shes annoying, or how badly her acting sucks. I'm totally in love.

will i ever ...

2010-08-12T11:58:00.000-07:00

draw again?

this question remains uncertain.

dear aritzia,

2010-07-30T09:10:00.000-07:00

this is me a day after the "let go". you see here, im displaying the cringe faced smile because im not mad at chu... instead of two middle fingers up (which would probably be WAY more appropriate after the way you handled yesterdays situation) i give you two friendly thumbs up to show my gratitude towards finally freeing me from the heavy shackles you placed around my ankles a year ago. no more trendy clothes and trying to keep up with what "cool". no more trying to impress people who didnt give a shit about me from the begining. i can now live in my bathing suit and put my money towards pkwy south bound tolls and beach badges. SUMMER of '10.. im finally all yours.

sincerely, NEEN

2010-05-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

HOPE EVERYONE HAD A WONDERFUL CINCO DE MAYO.....

BEAUTIFUL DAY OFF ... TEQUILA ON THE BEACH ... NO LIMES ... URGE TO GET TATTOOED ...

just living life. nbd.

whered my pants go?

2010-04-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

tequila and party busses bring out the best in me apparently.

the party doesnt start until my pants are off... but were they ever on to begin with?

no really... it did.

2010-04-19T19:01:00.000-07:00

Ive been itching for a tattoo above my knee/ mid thigh area for a long while now. i wanted writing of some sort but hate the fact that whenever u have something written on your body a trillion and one people ask you "whats it mean". so i fell asleep one night last week... had this vivid dream- it was summer, i was wearing cut off levi's shorts and i had a tattoo across my thigh that read "it came in a dream" in lovely script. I woke up and made the dream come true. wonderful

the frantic post dream sketch

the reality

i used to make "art"

2010-02-28T20:38:00.000-08:00

i was going through files on my old laptop and found some silly things i created out of boredom. now when im bored i spend money on alcohol or used clothing. help me find motivation to stay home and draw again. someone feed me inspiration pleaseeee!

spotted....

2010-02-27T12:19:00.000-08:00

alan cano

combo

2010-02-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

yuengling + chicken tender = relaxing evening.

no worries as long as i have the two of them.

dynamic duo

2010-01-30T17:11:00.000-08:00

the all american curvy blonde and the exotic busty brunette...

i probably look like a chick you've had relations with , and well... she's the girl guys dream of having relations with.

were a package deal

what more could you really want... unless your only into redheads.

I WANT MY SUMMER SHARE!

2010-01-21T22:48:00.000-08:00

Thursday, January 21 marked the night of the Jersey Shore season finale. I wasn't the biggest fan of the show and i did in fact miss a couple of episodes, but for the moments i did catch, i must say that damn show has been an inspiration. Ive learned great things from that show such as how to "beat the beat", not to talk shit to a juice head or chances are i'll get laid the fuck out, go by a cool nickname, and most of all i learned to embrace my italian heritage. Who am i fooling with the bleached blonde hair and artsy tattoos. I'm 5 months away from the beginning of summer and going back my natural color and possibly getting a tattoo at adrenaline of a tribal cross or better yet, a slice of boardwalk pizza. Donations to my cause are being accepted, any aquanet product and hairclips to achieve the perfect snookie poof, a joyce leslie gift card or any of your old juicy or ed hardy hand me downs, lessons on how to walk in platform sandals, and a desperately needed spray tan and id be pumped if anyone threw in a dangly rhinestone belly ring, i've been dying to re-pierce mine. To all who read this, please help me make this happen. If not on reality television...than at least in real life.

this is what it comes down to...

2010-01-19T17:56:00.001-08:00

it's not that im really trying to publicize my sex life to the world but ive found my sex life to be extremely humorous and entertaining. Some people may find it offensive and self degrading, i could really care less. My life is a sitcom... or perhaps its a drama and play the victim.. who knows... All i know is most guys ive come into contact with have been extreme douchebags. Sometimes i could swear im wearing a shirt that says in bold letters "I LOVE UNINTELLIGENT DUDES WITH AN OVER INFLATED SENSE OF SELF WORTH.. FUCK ME!" I never understood why ive attracted these types but ive learned to embrace it over time. One day my prince will come, until then i hope you enjoy the reading material i have to share thanks to some idiotic soft stick i have to deal with.

(picture proof has been deleted because for some reason i still have respect for the guys who have no respect for me. oh.. and to all of you who feel the need to lurk this page in hopes of starting drama.. i welcome it... just add more fuel to the fire.)

booty call reject of the week #2

2010-01-12T17:33:00.000-08:00

texted monday, january 11 at 10:19 pm

him-"come over"

me-"i have work at 9:30. i've been playing mariokart for the last 2 hours"

him-"so, i need some"

me-"you need some what?"

him-"of you"

me-"need? really? why so..what do i have to give that you need right now. tell me baby"

him-"well its more of a really want"

me-"whatchu want, baby i got it. whatchu need, you know i got it. all im askin is for a little respect, just a little bit"

me-"did your boner just go down?"

him-"didn't have one in the first place. but if i did it might have went down a little.

me-"oh shit, sorry about that. what you want baby. tell neen."

him-"i need a cuddlefuck or something"

me-"cuddlefuck.. aww that sounds special.. i think what you really need is someone who doesnt live almost an hour away"

him- "no. what i really need is you not to live so far

me-"damn. im in high demand right now"

him-"better be only by me"

me-"thats arguable..but for now we'll pretend you are :)"

oh my, if all the boys only knew......

booty call reject of the week

2009-12-22T23:40:00.000-08:00

texted 2:39 am

him- "come over"

me-" i have work tomorrow tool, try texting me a wee earlier next time"

him-"well if work is more important than my dick inside you so be it"

me- "whoa, thats some real talk right there. Dick is good but it doesn't get me out of bed and into the cold"

take note of this boys. booty calls are great. but im a working woman and i keep it classy.. ill only accept your obnoxious "sexts" before 11 pm.

best part is- i never had sex with this kid and i last spoke to him almost a year ago. always refreshing knowing im still crossing peoples minds.

matchbox romance

2009-12-07T21:34:00.000-08:00

sounds like that funny band i am guilty of listening to 8 years back.. but in this case i found this matchbox hiding in my dusty fireplace. it's dated 1970 and my mom told me the fire place probably hasn't been lit since then. i fell in love with the image on it...

so much i needed it on me for life....

although the whole owl tattoo is somewhat cliche.. and it seems like everyone and their mother has one.. i seriously couldn't be happier with the work that was done on me saturday. ive been doodling owls for the past couple months and wasnt happy with the results i was getting... until i found this glorious artifact deep within my fireplace and realized it was the perfect design. thanks to binky @ electric for being amazing and melissa for sitting through the 2 hours with me and treating me to a thai dinner. life is cool.

from paper to skin pt 3

2009-12-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

this is not my arm.. nor my armpit. it's my best guy friend tim (all single ladies...he's a total babe)
He asked me to draw him up a phonograph... and i did.... and a week later... permanent addition to his body.
its pretty cool seeing your art work on a friends body. flattering to say the least.

oh.. got a tattoo idea but cant draw for shit... hit me up.. and throw me a few bucks. i gotchya covered.

frequently asked questions...

2009-10-25T21:33:00.000-07:00

are you drunk?.....

are you single?....

do you want to come back to my place tonight?...

frequently answered

no big deal...

2009-10-18T17:27:00.000-07:00

just a blog shout out on burningangel.com. There's even a couple pics of me...
I think everyone always knew id be in some way or form famous in the adult industry....

[click link below pic to check it out]

SEE ME NAKED

keeping warm

2009-10-07T12:16:00.000-07:00

© chelsee ivan // ithoughtiwasalone

So i heard its going to be one of the coldest winters in ten years. I hate cold weather mostly because i always wind up getting sick, but there something i love about it. i guess the need for warmth and playful winter activities. I can't wait for snow. I want to build igloos and make snow angels, catch snowflakes on my tongue, have snowball fights and then after catching frost bite, run inside and snuggle under blankets. i kind of want someone to do all this with. i think im having one of those moments where i feel so lonely. hopefully this winter i'll find someone else who needs extra body heat. i don't care if it lasts for just the season. ill take all the comfort i can get.

interview with a highschooler...

2009-10-05T20:38:00.000-07:00

they start so young now a days...im just gonna assume he was wriitng a paper for sex ed.

metallic dermatitis

2009-09-27T12:16:00.000-07:00

its unfortunate im allergic to the one tangible memory of a past lover....

vintage sterling silver rhinestone chanel ring up for grabs... best offer.

found this convo... still cracks me up

2009-09-24T21:33:00.000-07:00

for the record... we never went mini-golfing... nor did we screw. we did go on a "friendly date" to ralph's italian ice though. i paid.

this is why im fat....

2009-09-23T21:34:00.000-07:00

my mom forbid me of pb and fluff samiches when i was a kid... she forbid me of alot of other sugary crap as well. i guess i can thank her in the long run since im near twenty four and never had one cavity or dental issue for that matter..

but all that shit i should have ate at a young age that i didn't get to enjoy with the rest of the kids in my grammar school cafeteria... i am now enjoying in my bed at 12:30 in the morning. this sammy is my new obsession.

i fell off...

2009-09-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

just for a bit....

started a new job and really haven't had time to update this slut in a while

but ive been socially active and i will hop back on this thing soon enough.

(probably should have said "sexually active" but for once in my life that would be a HUGE lie).

stay tuned.

put some clothes on

2009-09-05T23:36:00.000-07:00

why should i

it about that time again

2009-09-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

So alot of time has passed since i got my last set of digits on the job. Luckily that all changed today when Relly walked in. It all started with a simple compliment on my tattoos and lead to me learning where to find cheap tru religion jeans in newark. Relly, a 21 year old male of color, in his oversized sweats, timbs and flat brimmed hat, had alot of vital information to offer a girl like me, Most of the information having to do with stolen goods and where to find a good hookup in the ghetto. I love when guys who blatantly have nothing in common with me still try their luck. I appreciate a strong effort to impress a simple white girl.

mischa barton on coke

2009-08-31T18:35:00.000-07:00

Last Jelly show of the summer. Grizzly Bear played. Left before they went on. 2 hot outside. Needed Cold Margaritas. Headed over to Turkeys nest where none other than Mischa Barton was most likely blowing lines of coke in the bathroom, taking her sweet B list celebrity time, not giving a rats ass that im next in line and i was near peeing down my leg. Nice old dude in back of me decides to knock obnoxiously on the door until an angered drugged up mischa come storming out, yells in the guys face "WHAT THE FUCK MAN, WHATS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM", proceeds to shove the guy into the Big Buck Hunter game, then heads for the door. It was exciting to say the least. and that was pretty much my entire day. Lazy Celeb spotting sundays are the best. although i probably should have hung around the show a while longer, heard word HOV and B were there. I would have died.

RIP

2009-08-28T16:43:00.000-07:00

in all honesty, one of the best sets at lolla '08

may the beats live on.

fuck you, mosquitos...

2009-08-26T11:59:00.000-07:00

itchiest mosquito bite ever. looks like the most unthreatening middle finger ever.

fins

2009-08-25T14:04:00.000-07:00

i wish i was a mermaid... at least i have hair like one.

X-Rated Captcha

2009-08-24T18:06:00.000-07:00

I cannot stand how whenever you try and post a link to facebook or whatever, they ask you to figure out a captcha. most annoying request ever.

well, correct me if im wrong but does this captcha read "loving pussy"... now i could have related had it said "dick"

new blog

2009-08-23T20:34:00.000-07:00

secondhand habits

while rich girls are blogging about their latest splurge on some stupid trend that'll be gone tomrorow, i dedicate this blog to my cheap personal style in which i never leave the house without at least one thrifted article of clothing. not to mention im a curvy bitch, so expensive clothes don't fit me right. follow me on my journey of trying to look cool without going into debt.

new stolen project

2009-08-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

If anyone one knows me well, they know im a total crafter at heart. Im always randomly making new shit out of old shit, only problem is i get bored after making one and i never run with the idea. I was on a kick making coupon caddies/ wallets out of felt and vintage fabrics for a while, made about 10 of them and just stopped. They were super cute and totally sellable to old women who frequent the grocery store. After browsing etsy on a boring day at work, i came across a seller, Love California, who makes little throw pillows out of vintage fabrics in the shape of states and such. I need the texas one, since i was born in dallas, but i took notice that she didn't have Jersey! looks like i'll have to make one myself and luckily for me i have all the materials i need already. im kinda excited about this project. I really want to get back into making things from my over abundance of fabrics that i've collected over the years. If you have any neat ideas of things i can make, leave a comment. I need new inspiration.

stupid dress #1

2009-08-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

So i own an ASS load of dresses that i NEVER wear, some of which i may have never worn once. And if this is my large ass we are referring to.. than thats ALOT of dresses. I have a problem. I see dresses that i would love to wear, buy them, and HATE how they look on once i get home. i probably should return some of these dresses i buy, but nope, i get them from thrift stores where u cant return, or forever 21 where u can only exchange. idiotic. This dress i bought months ago.. probably almost 8 months or so. Never wore it. If you love this dress buy it from me. i'll take 10 bucks. its a size large but could easily fit a medium, way to big in the chest area since i have no boobs. So if you are a curvaceous female like me except you actually have tits to match your ass, this dress is for you.

there will be more of these stupid dress posts to come. ladies, get ready to shop my blog.

my dog ate my homework

2009-08-22T06:23:00.000-07:00

best excuse in the book thus far... but on a serious note... updating has been a little tough lately since my social schedule is not allowing me to sit down for a few and keep you all updated. As for picture updates.. yes, that also will be put on hold since my guinea pig ate my USB cord. yep, little fatty chewed a hole right through it and unfortunately it is a cord i have to order from panasonic so it will probably take another 2 weeks to arrive... thats if i order it today, and knowing me i'll hold off on it since funds are super low.

Speaking of low funds, i got offered a job that pays 4 dollars more start than what I'm making right now.. Am i accepting the offer? i don't think so. at first it sounded amazing since i was going to be dealing with high end fashion labels and such but, its an hour away and with necessary toll roads and wear and tear on my car, i wont really see that extra 4 bucks come out of the pay check. Where I'm at right now sucks. I'm 23 (soon to be 24) 2 years out of college and a degree, and I'm making just as much if not less than co workers who are 5 years younger and just getting into college. Im barely surviving. I would truly love to grow with urban outfitters. i do believe its a great company to work for but i don't know how much longer i can live like this before i get a substantial promotion. Perhaps i need a serious second job or do some freelance work. I haven't been keeping up on any of my artistic skills and i have forgotten what it feels like to hold a pencil. If any of you have an extra buck and want some work done wether it be business cards or home decor, let me know. ill do anything.

2009-08-14T19:19:00.000-07:00

Dear American Apparel

2009-08-09T10:07:00.000-07:00

Your mineral wash runner shorts, and well, all of your other women's products for that matter should come in XL for fatties like me. no one, besides a select few, wants to see me tramping around in shorts that look as if they are painted on. they're definitely ass friendly but i need more room to let the thing breathe.

and in the brillaint lyrics of missy elliot,

I've got a cute face
Chubby waist
Thick legs in shape
Rump shakin both wayz
Make u do a double take

i clearly have found my theme song.

metal mouth

2009-08-08T15:49:00.000-07:00

got bored and decided to re-pierce my lip

and braces clearly couldn't save my bottom teeth.

skankin it up at work

2009-08-01T10:03:00.000-07:00

sometimes flashin a little lacey undergarmet results in a big sale. i have high hopes.

2009-07-31T19:21:00.000-07:00

LIESSSSSS!

dirty thrift

2009-07-28T19:11:00.000-07:00

a lovely brand i found rummaging the racks at unique yesterday.

alright, it actually read "currants", but at the right angle the creases spoke my language.

probably once your mom's bathing suit

2009-07-27T18:19:00.000-07:00

just the beginning to my wonderful and slightly tacky vintage bathing suit collection, (a few are not pictured cuz i got lazy changing)

yes, please.

2009-07-26T12:14:00.000-07:00

the lady at the shop next door just brought me this cuz i was hungry, i wouldn't mind a lifetime supply of this shit.
You can find them at your local cumberland farms. ONLY $1.00. thats a dollar well spent.

i haven't rode a bike in 12 years

2009-07-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

thanks to a new found facebook friend who runs a bike shop, i will be financing this baby and soon she'll be all mine. well.. hopefully. and yes, chicken tender will have her own little wicker basket on the front so she can come along for rides.

things that resemble a nut sack

2009-07-25T10:59:00.000-07:00

siamese black cherries

the key to success

2009-07-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

I was chatting with my friend yesterday about being broke and really having no set path in life. I mean sure i work 3 jobs, 2 of which i only work one day a week and make about enough for a mcdonalds value meal, and well, the other i make JUST enough to pay my monthly health insurance and student loan bill. I am 23 and still live at home, and although that isn't that old to still be living under your parents roof and not having to pay a monthly rent is a definite perk, moving out and being on my own brings a thought if accomplishment, something i've never really felt before. Well, i did graduate college and that was a HUGE accomplishment for me but as you can see my degree isn't helping me on the job front.

I want money. No no, let me rephrase that. I NEED money. For what you ask? A plethora of things. Pay off school debt, pay my car and health insurance, more tattoos (cant stop now), feed my child (chickentender) yeah, she eats ALOT. feed myself, Gas for the unnecessary amount of local traveling i do... thats just to name a few. And remember, I want to move out. I NEED to move out. Ill be honest, I just want to be able to have boys in my room past 10 pm and not worry about waking my moms boyfriend up when i stumble in drunk at 3 am. I am not high maintenance. i don't need a manicure/pedicure every two weeks, and judging by my dark roots and dead ends, you can see im never up on my monthly cut and dye. I don't need to latest marc jacobs satchel or a pair of ray ban wayfarers in every color. I could care less if my daily attire wasn't designer. Im a very simple girl who's content with small things (this does not include bedroom situations) and I know money doesn't bring happiness but green is my favorite color and it wouldn't hurt seeing more of it.

They also say money doesn't bring success. But lets be realistic here. In todays world, if you are not a prodigy at what you do, you either have to know someone or come from money. Not to talk down about my peers, but i know a handful of talentless people who are living the life because they have trust funds or sucked off the right person. Now, ill admit, maybe id be further in life if i had some motivation, but how can there be any motivation without money? The things i want to do in life take paper. Its like trying to build a sand castle with no sand. impossible. For instance, Ive always wanted to screen print clothing. Alright, well i need the money for equipment and space. No money. I want to start an online vintage boutique. I need money for a camera to photograph items, hire a web designer to help with a webpage, buy boxes and bags for shipping, no money. Maybe im making excuses, and shit, i probably am, but things never came easy for me and i know they never will and it just gets a little discouraging for me at times. What i really need is a quick solution to my financial problems. A fast and easy way to make just enough money to get my feet steady on the ground, that little something to give me that extra push to pursuing my dreams. Are you thinking what im thinking?.... stripping? AH HA!

I guess this is where the post becomes a little less serious, but in all seriousness, WHY NOT? Its practically a headline story. Curvy tattooed girl next door bares all in hopes of one day pursuing an expensive artistic career. Maybe a little to risque for local newspapers but im sure it would make for an inspiring story. Don't think im so comfortable with my body that i could get up on that stage tomorrow and spread eagle for every 45 year old man who had a rough day at work. If i was that confident, i wouldn't be ranting about all this right now, i'd probably be on a yacht somewhere in a hot pink string bikini rolling around in 100 dollar bills on some old guys waterbed humming kanye's "good life". I am just a girl with a vision and i envision a strip club where the strippers are normal curvy tattooed women who need an extra buck to purchase that glorious set of horse hair paintbrushes from pearl. No bimbo's with fake tits and a tummy tuck after popping out 3 kids, just all natural ladies (besides the tattoos) showing off their bodies for the love of art. Prime location would be jersey shore and the regulars would range from staten island guidos to local surfers all ready and willing to make it rain. Me and my friend went over possible names for this strip joint when my friend was struck with pure brilliance and spit out "V'Jais". YESSSSSS. NEVER to be confused with that Belmar meathead hotspot. When D'Jais only attracts a bunch of idiots, we'll be slowly collecting the revenue and bringing chill locals and asshole benny's, a world of people, under one roof to watch some regular chicks shake their shit.

ok, so im thinking that this very well may be the most far fetched out of any of my goals. Becoming a stripper cant be that tough, get slightly addicted to a hard drug to lose the excess baby fat and and give a few extra hand jobs in the private room to help buy a new pair of boobies and your automatically on a road to cash flow. But to stay true to ones curvy figure, give no extra "favors" for extra tips and build a completely new establishment on hopes of revealing artistic talent. I've clearly gone over board here. I guess it COULDDDD happen but chances are we'll never know.

Well, back to another boring day at work. hope you enjoyed my absurd rant.

compliment of the day

2009-07-19T09:19:00.001-07:00

Last night me and Kur headed to a Bar A for a sober night of drunk people watching

We get approached by two "Sicilian" boys from New Yawk. We start unwillingly chatting it up

We then get to ages...

Kur - "How old you think my friend is?"

Guido #2- "Adorable.... oh wait were we talking about our ages?"

GOOD ONE... I immediately grabbed him and took him back to Kurs place.... SIKE.

I probably should have just went home with him, i mean cmon his "summer car" is a yellow corvette, pahked right out front.
my heart nearly melted.

nothing new :(

2009-07-18T16:36:00.000-07:00

a little unintended cleavage for you

you can stand unda my umbrella ella ella...

2009-07-12T13:25:00.000-07:00

Im sorry, that was probably the corniest title for this post, but it only made sense since it was pouring last night and i was partying at a bar called Ella. My dear friend Greg Mitchells is officially a quarter century old as of 12 am this morning and im pleased that i was a part of his bottle serviced fancy shmanced birthday extravaganza on the lower east side. I got to see a few old but beautiful faces i haven't seen in a while, pee in the mens room, mix too many different alcohols, drunk text 1 too many random dudes, trample through mirky puddles in flip flops, feel slightly awkward not being at a dive bar, leaving ella for the fish, leaving the fish to redeem the class, eating roma pizza at 2:30 in the morning, and best of all, sleeping next to jen b after being apart for several months. I'll admit that ive been one to flake out on parties that are heard about too far in advance, but im very happy i went last night, even after having to work today with a hangover. Lets hope for more outing like this in the near future. Heres a few pictures from the night-

july 4th weekend in pictures...

2009-07-12T09:23:00.000-07:00

since my camera broke last weekend, i decided to steal some photos from facebook.

Had it been my camera.. the pictures would have been ALOT racier

but props to kur for holdin it down.

judging by these pictures, the weekend didn't get shitty enough. Can i get a 4th do over please?

compliment of the day?

2009-07-10T21:36:00.000-07:00

i swear i didn't make this up

"it's like Mariah's ass ran into Megan fox's body and then Esmee denter's sister slapped a face on it"

"if more girls would get on top of things like you did we would be living in a much more happier society where men could admire hot bods like yours instead of well.. the not so hot ones we have to bear daily. and your hair.. looking like you got the Chi in your back pocket"

"I don't get why you are not on a tv pilot yet being hated on by millions of tweens"- H.K.

it actually went a little further than all of this, and the entire time i was fighting the continuous compliments. i dont take them very well especially when they're as absurd as being compared to megan fox... cmon, really?

fortune friday

2009-07-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

"you are busy but you are happy"

"you are happy when your gettin busy" is more like it.

my girlfriend is hot

2009-07-09T12:58:00.000-07:00

its love.

theyre backkkk

2009-07-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

yup.. after a few long months of trying to grow out the bangs but endlessly getting fed up with the in between length,
i decided to go ahead and chop them short again. back to looking pre teen.

im going to regret this tomorrow,...

on a funnier note, i have a stalker at work. his name is steve and he's 35, bald, covered in tattoos and a complete meat head. he visited me on three separate occasions in one day which is slightly weird. he also told me the reasons wed be perfect for each other, because were both good looking, we have tattoos, and we both like to have fun. now the good looking reference is a given on my part, the tattoos is obvious although i must say im not that impressed with his tribal sun but his portrait of jesus christ on his forearm is dead on. saying that i like to have fun though is a mere assumption. i guess he could sense the party animal in me in the midst of me tagging and folding merchandise. He also threw in casually that he has a 6 pack and is rock hard...
now im not sure if he meant his abs or his cock?.. probably his cock. ew.

He left my store for about 2 minutes and comes back with his number written on a small heart shaped peice of paper. tell me he randomly had scissors in his back pocket. ughhh i melt for crafty guys.

stupid.

2009-07-05T09:15:00.000-07:00

So i was gonna have a photo update a couple days ago and in the midst of me trying to upload pictures from my camera, i apparently stuck the wrong usb cord into the camera causing a peice of the usb cord to snap off inside the little port. therefore my camera is pretty useless. it was still under warranty, thank god, so panasonic will be sending me a new camera in about 2 weeks. kinda bummed thats pretty far away and i didn't get to take any pics this 4th of july weekend. I can assure you tho, my weekend sucked. i worked friday, saturday, and i'm at my 3rd job today so i was not able to take part in drunken bbq's or watch fireworks. Not to mention, i made no money this weekend either so nothing makes up for the party time loss.

On a more positive note though, i took off tomorrow (monday) and i will be staying in belmar tonight in hopes of amazing weather tomorrow so i can get my tan on, and being its a monday im keeping my fingers crossed the beach wont be too packed and it will only have a couple left over guidos who didn't make it back up north. I think i might check out the tinton falls outlets as well. I heard the vans outlet has amazing deals on slip ons. Also, when i got to work today, the owner of the antique store left me this little pin with my pay. AMAZING.

who the hell is this guy?

2009-06-29T19:09:00.000-07:00

Every time i go to Bar A, a couple pictures surface of me with a random dude. I know i don't hook up with them, or even get their name for that matter. I dont know why this short photo session always seems to take place but i always wind up having a captured memory on film of a complete stranger every time i leave that damned bar. This could get funny...

WHO THE F*CK IS THIS? we look like such a happy couple....

p.s. the image on his shirt looks identical to him... what a weirdo.

and then this guy... REALLY? what the hell got me talking to this dude?..

uhhh.. looks like im about to VOM!

handle with care

2009-06-29T18:04:00.000-07:00

so apparently i bruise very easily...

chicken tender looks very concerned.

jackson pollock take on

2009-06-29T17:37:00.000-07:00

i did this a while back and kind of shoved it aside in my pile of unfinished/unwanted art. tho every time i come back to it, i realize how much i really like it and if it matched my rooms color scheme, id totally hang it on my wall. it was inspired by the jackson pollock website where u move your cursor along the screen and it paints along that area. It's a lot more controlled than pollock's actual pieces and done in colored pencil, and ill be honest, i'm really not a fan of his work. but i kinda enjoy playing this copy cat thing.

FORTUNE FRIDAY

2009-06-26T18:28:00.000-07:00

After working 51 hours this week im pretty sure this fortune is hinting on time and a half.
chinese cookies know all.

from paper to skin part 2

2009-06-24T17:23:00.000-07:00

better picture when it heals

FORTUNE FRIDAY

2009-06-19T23:05:00.000-07:00

Ive been told this many times and then a fortune cookie sort of just made it official...
although i think my magnetic personality is really just in those tits.

text of the week-

2009-06-16T16:47:00.000-07:00

Sent 6/15/09 at 12:48 pm-

"You know whats so bad about this is i hate being told i can't or won't do something. Just for that im gonna eff your brains out. I'm about to be with the mrs. Got to stop the texting. Catch yah later trouble".

Men, they'll never change.

i just had to share this..

2009-06-16T15:53:00.000-07:00

tonight for dinner.. after starving at work for hours...i come home and prepare myself the trusty pb&j sandwich
and coors in a wine glass while listening to stevie nicks. Why? no clue. but it was surprisingly satisfying.

my fortune never tells a lie

2009-06-12T19:56:00.000-07:00

so ive decided since i collect the fortunes from fortune cookies,
ill post one of my favorites once a week... ill call it FORTUNE FRIDAYS!
the first being the most dead on....

im so behind but...

2009-06-12T19:30:00.000-07:00

i kinda need this...

one of a kind vintage @ shopnastygal.com
only $148, get me it before its long gone

oh cool

2009-06-02T23:28:00.001-07:00

so i bought these american apparel leggings the other day.. thought they were pretty neat and got a 50% discount on them. go home .. try them on.. and you cant even tell that theres slits in the side cuz im so god damn short and stumpy. since i have the shortest legs ever theres no pull to the leggings to open up the holes on either side. dumbest thing ever.

when all else fails...

2009-05-30T23:49:00.000-07:00

my hair will always come out on top
best locks since '85

makin money

2009-05-28T21:23:00.000-07:00

So i occasionally work at this little antique shop in the Highlands called endless treasures. I personally sell all my own vintage clothing and accessories there as well. Today me and melissa headed down to the shop to drop off more of my goodies to sell as well as pick up money from my first sale!!! I sold a watch, two necklaces and a pair of riding boots (which all together paid about 10 dollars for) and received $104 in return. 90% profit. And fortunately the owner doesnt take a percentage of my sale out for herself, so i walk away with all the loot. Looks like i found my new hobby. Anyways if you ever find yourself in the highlands, you should absolutely check out the shop, bring your money and splurge! truly amazing one of a kind things. Heres a couple of pictures we took tonight. We found cool red props that matched our outfits.

my outfit ruled today,
marc by marc jacobs cardigan
vintage red polka dotted blouse
f21 jeans and vintage dexter boots
i looked like an idiot, but thats when i look my best.

nice tattoos... you ticklish?

2009-05-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

Oh, so much i can say about this past memorial day weekend. Spent saturday-monday in belmar. Wouldn't have picked any other place. Although i will admit i had extremely high expectations for a chaotic weekend, and it didn't turn out to be as chaotic as expected. Never the less it was still an awesome start to a long awaited ridiculously epic summer. I would explain the weekend in paragraph form but i think a simple list will give an idea as to how shit went down. i'll try to list the occurrences in some order.

saturday- chilled, in search for tea, finding tea but not getting any, fredrico's, meatball parm sandwich, largest burmese mountain dog i've ever seen, liquor store, bottle of cuervo, orange juice, beer pong (minus beer..plus tequilla) , getting an idea to pose as a "red bull girl" the entire weekend, hard faces, funny faces, red faces, white v necks, bar A, guidos galore, RED BULL BITCHES, me searching for any dude not a guido, me finding a group of pseudo hipsters, me getting made fun of for finding a group of "fags", getting kissed multiple times by two random dudes, not feelin it AT ALL, girly shots, dance offs in the sand, exchanging phone numbers, getting back to the house and realizing i have four new unidentified numbers in my phone. chips and queso, passing out.

sunday- waking up with a random dudes arm around me, looking through drunken texts i sent the night before, dozen egg breakfast, organic toast, ketchup, tequilla sunrises at noon, watching ducks have sex, watching guys play soccer tennis, me not going on a bike ride since my feet couldn't reach any of the bikes pedals, bob marley, sending the men out shopping for food, back yard bbq, too many hot dogs, too many cheese burgers, corn on the cob, the rolling stones, sausage fest, mixing beer with liquor, getting too drunk too early, 80's classics, finding vodka in the freezer, drinking it. wtf am i doing? trying to carry schaffer, result- pulled back, popping advil, passing out at 8:30, waking back up at 12:30, god only knows what i missed. staying up watching everyone else pass out.

monday- late wake up, sitting around deciding what we should get for breakfast, deciding on 10th ave, deciding on what to get turning into a big production, finally coming to a consensus and calling 10th ave to order realizing its closed on mondays, settling on surf taco, loving ranch dressing as a condiment, side walk sales, loosing dara, finding dara, realizing my back hurts real bad, napping, waking up alone, wondering what happened to martin lawrence, mexican desserts, playgrounds, beach soccer, bashing toes into nicks shin, kerri doing the same thing but injuring herself a little worse, hobbling back to the house, getting hit on by porch guidos, nice tattoos..you ticklish?, eating lots of watermelon, learning to cook, chillen out, green street hooligans, new celebrity crush on charlie hunnam, wanting to date a brittish dude, loving soccer/futbol whatever, packing, driving home tired, sad that weekend ended so quickly.

i probably left out a shit ton of details but you get the picture. hoping this coming weekend is just as good if not better.

benny weekend day 1

2009-05-23T06:49:00.000-07:00

Memorial day weekend is finally here. It is now officially summer. Most people like to kick off the weekend down the shore, but Mel, Mike and I decided to hang around town for a little house party. New Brunswick was totally dead last night. it sucked... the party was lame. We checked out ale n wich where i thought we may be able to find some cute dudes. There was one at the bar.. absolutly adorbale... to bad he wound up being there with my friend tina. FUCK. We left after one beer, went back to the party where the three of us decided to go on a mission to try an make out with someone at the party. this was gonna be tough. but guess who pulled through... I ALWAYS DO! it was short and sweet but an all around good make out sesh. Now that i think about it.. i made out with someone last weekend at a new brunswick house party.. he was fucking adorable and under 21 too.. damn im killin it these days.

I GOT A JOB

2009-05-23T06:48:00.000-07:00

yep. im officially an employee at urban outfitters... so that little post below this one.. dont worry about trying to find the shit.. ill get it on my own with an employee discount.

ohhh technology

2009-05-21T19:37:00.000-07:00

wishes really do some true...

this can be bought for me at urbanoutfitters.com

from paper to skin

2009-05-17T22:27:00.000-07:00

finally!

3rd roomate?

2009-05-14T21:27:00.000-07:00

Me and Melissa are desperately trying to move on from our parents houses so we can finally have boys over and not have to worry about having loud sex and our rents hearing. Anyone wanna be our 3rd roomate to bring the rent down significantly? We'll move just about anywhere thats cheap... your local ghettos.. whatever. How bout this place in patterson, we'll pay to get dead bolts installed.

assberry

2009-05-14T20:56:00.000-07:00

this weekend was spent mostly in asbury park... and although i may be posing with a few different kinds of alcoholic beverages and look to be a little drunk. i assure you i was on medication and didn't drink at all.. i'm just a fake who likes to advertise booze

snort

2009-05-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

Friday, May 9th, nothing cool about this night. Me and mel went to court tavern. saw some bands play, got harassed by some drank dudes, took some photos then went home

your exit is my entrance

tonight i got bored

2009-05-10T20:47:00.000-07:00

now those are some decent tits

Cinco de Drinko

2009-05-07T18:40:00.000-07:00

headed into the city for a sober night of watching friends enjoy open bars and designated driving. Started at the fish then headed to angels and drag-kings where kill brand and rockett where throwin a summer clothing line launch party. the vibe sucked, the music sucked (thanks to real world stars turned djs) and the people were the worst. after an excruciating hour and a half i decided i needed to leave. It was 12 midnight and pouring rain. not only did it take an hour to finally reach the holland tunnel due to road work.. it then took us another 15 minutes to get through the tunnel due to being the first car stuck behind a VERY slow moving road work vehicle. i think i fell asleep at the wheel 3 times that night. im still alive though.

Anticipated trends of Bamboozle '09

2009-05-06T14:50:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to say about this years bamboozle festival. I was fortunate enough to help out the heroine clothing tent which got me free entry. I had never gone to a bamboozle before this and quite frankly... i don't think id ever pay for this kind of entertainment unless i was getting in for free. unfortunately for me, i had a 102 fever all weekend and was later diagnosed with swine flu.... ok just kidding.. but i did wind up having strept. yeah, my weekend blew hard.. but i toughed it out and got a few shots of what bamboozle had to offer.

heroine clothing

parents

costumes

dudes with terrible hair

white kids throwing gang signs

all things NEON

masks

gothic cowboys

disney tweens

gwen back in ska

unnecessary tent props

mis-matched patterns

crazy looking people

singlets

making it rain

temporary tattoos?

creepy old super-fans

throwin up the horns

NEEN SIGHTINGS!

frothy

2009-05-03T19:10:00.000-07:00

i haven't updated in a while so i bring to you.. my ass

more updates tomorrow

Im trying to join a club...

2009-04-26T21:05:00.000-07:00

This weekend was super hectic and totally unplanned. Thursday i get word that i have an interview friday afternoon with a couple of the casting scouts for a reality tv series "bad girls club" so i take off work, go to this interview in nyc, which was a small group interview with about 5 other girls. All of which were the stereotypical self proclaimed bad ass bitches. As were asked why we think were "bad girls" every girl pretty much answers the same way. Claiming they are some hard ass mother fuckers not to be messed with.. yada yada. If they gotta problem with something their gonna tell it to your face. ::yawn:: heard it all before. finally its my chance to speak up. (now mind you, my friend jen talked me into applying for this thing, and i did it just to humor her not thinking the joke would land me an actual interview... or two)..so i tell them i'm no badass, i don't beat girls up, i'm super friendly actually.. so what makes me a "bad girl"?....i get drunk and hook up with mad dudes. yep, i had to pull out the party animal/slut card. i knew it would make me stand out amongst the table of ghetto mouthed hood rats. i was pretty blunt in telling them how "bad" i get.. which i over exaggerated a tiny bit.. but hey, i figured it was what they wanted to hear. Being the slutty party girl never got me anywhere far... BUT... it landed me a second interview the next day!

so i head back into nyc saturday, go to this ritzy hotel on 49th and wait to be called in for my interview. I decide to go get myself a $10 vodka cranberry to loosen me up a little. I finally get called into this small room with bright lights, backdrop and a camera set up. they hook me up to this little microphone and thats when its hits me... shit, i'm gonna be recorded. they even put makeup on me. it was weird. so they ask me a ton of personal questions that i answered to the best of my ability and after about a half hour/ 40 mins.. the interview was over. The lady interviewing me said i did an amazing job... i have no idea what that means. but now all i have to do is wait till mid may while they send all the casting tapes to production out in LA, and see if i get a call back. Someone different tells me every week how i should be on tv and how entertaining I am. I literally hear it all the time. Its not even like i truly aspire to do reality tv but it would be pretty rad being picked, especially during recession. what else do i have to do with my life right now... exactly.. nothing! so instead of claiming unemployment, i'll be on a cheesy reality tv series and become a household name. now tell me that isn't the modern american dream...

on a closing note.. i went to the beach today for the first time in a real long time. I stayed in belmar last night and laid out in spring lake this morning. i wore my 1980's frilly floral bikini that my friend kerri was probably way embarrassed to be seen in public with me wearing it. got some real good color. i love how my summer is starting early this year.. its gonna be a long season. let the beachin, boozin and bbq-in begin!

4/20

2009-04-20T21:37:00.000-07:00

smokin mad blunts at the lily allen show...... actually not at all. but lily was incredible. she's so fucking fantastic and reminds me alot of myself. in between songs she just talked about sucking cock and fuckin dudes. something i can CLEARLY relate too.. mehhh hehhhh hehhh. i wore a god damn romper to the show and then proceeded to drink multiple beers. going to the bathroom was not easy considering i had to unbutton like 8 buttons and pull the entire outfit down just to piddle. i couldn't do the trusty "pull it to the side" move cuz like an even bigger asshole i decided to wear tights underneath. it was like a 15 minute process in the stall. everyone probably thought i was taking a huge doo doo. whatevs. some stupid band called natalie portman's shaved head opened up for lily and reminded me how i could just as easily become a performer if i learn a dumb instrument and flailed myself around on stage. alright, they weren't that bad, but an odd choice for an opening band. Lily closed the show with a britney cover of womanizer. that was interesting. never the less, it was a great time.

p.s. my romper only cost $1.95.... i win.

did you fart... cuz you just blew me away

2009-04-19T16:32:00.000-07:00

April 18th, 2009... Most beautiful day of the year thus far. I woke up at 7 am, headed down to Englishtown for a couple hours, came home, put on a bikini (frightening) sunned on my deck for a while, showered, then headed to work for another horribly slow evening. I was lucky enough to get out early and decided to head down to ... BELMAHHHH. My friend nick just got a house right on 16th which is blocks within the best benny bars along the jersey shore. The night started out with flip cup, then some other bullshit drinking games. i chugged some cheap white wine and got drizzy real quick. We then headed out to boathouse which ive never been to before. it was terrible but i pulled my tights down in the middle of the bar and exposed my ass for a few lucky on lookers, which made my night and other nights more memorable. i wore really high shoes for the first time probably since .... prom? not even cuz i wore sneakers for most of prom. anyways... i cant even remember. luckily i am blister free today. Some other funny things happened throughout the night that i wont mention.. guess you just had to be there, and NO i didn't get laid. ha! Woke up to a SHIT TON of people partaking in an M.S. walk right on 16th. it was nice to watch everyone up at the ass crack of dawn (well for me 10 am is the ass crack of dawn when im hungover) to participate in a walk for a good cause. Then a bunch of us sat around all morning watching you tube videos and prank calling people who were trying to sell their shit on craigslist. We then went a few blocks over to check out some bikes for sale where snyder rode away on a pink cruiser tricycle with a missing fender for only $25, a total steal. the thing rode like a beauty. I will hopefully find my seafoam green beach cruiser with a wicker basket and bell before the summer starts. keep an eye open! on to some pics...

BELMAR GUIDETTE KISSY FACE

Been there, Done that.

2009-04-15T09:11:00.000-07:00

So, Missbehave mag put out an article on why chicks wanna date skateboarders. At first thought, i was expecting some kind of praising or complimentary article. But after reading, i realized it's a HUGE WARNING SIGN to every girl who has a slight thought in her head on going home with a skater. For anyone who really knows me, they know i am an ex of a skateboarder, and for some reason or another, i always wind up fuckin with one after the other. It's not even like im in search of one.. I see a guy i think is attractive, i go after him and he always winds up a wood pusher. it's just my luck... or bad luck in some cases. Anyways, the article is histerical. Maybe its just funny to me since it's almost as if im reading a chapter in my own biography. Something i can look back on and chuckle at from time to time. Maybe its because of the picture of Brengar also. who knows. All i can say is go and read the article, appreciate it if it's a subject you know much about, appreciate it if it's a subject your not familiar with and use it as sever caution. It's well worth the 5 minutes it'll take you to read it and you'll gain valuable knowledge on such an irresitable douchebag culture

READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE HERE

Oh and make sure you scroll down to the bottom where people leave their comments. Read a few, they're quite comical. Heres one i personally picked to showcase...

i dont know the girl who posted the comment.... All i know is the girls she is talking about are the girls my ex hangs out with now. I've heard him name drop a few times here and there...some ny socialites at best. i dont know any of these chicks personally so i def cant hate on them but annalee's comment was just too good.

party time

2009-04-13T17:21:00.000-07:00

Me and Melissa reunited once again for a nice night in New Brunswick. We started off at the bar were we caught up over vodka crans. We later headed to a birthday house party, where eddie found us "untouched" cups of rum and coke and we proceeded to drink them. smart. There was a kissing booth where anyone could go within and charge others a dollar for a kiss. I gave this asian kid with long hair a smooch but refused to pay him. Then me and mel hopped in the booth and were trying to charge people money to watch us kiss.. we just wound up kissing for free, like we always do. The party was pretty good aside all the extremely.. EXTREMELY weird looking hipster kids that attended. Looked as if half the kids there took a wrong turn trying to get to don hills and ended up on high st. new brunswick. SCARY... i know! There were pseudo party photographers there who probably got 10x better shots that night of all the american apparel wanna be models and creepy grind core looking dudes. I on the other hand decided to take pictures of the only important people at the party, me and melissa of course, and i guess a few randoms here and there. The party wound up getting busted around 2:30 and i wound up having to drive my friend matt and his friend ross home from a near by bar. We went back to matt's place where he gave me and mel ice cream and baked us oatmeal craisin cookies and we watched superbad. It turned out to be a good night. On to the pics....

easter

2009-04-12T17:55:00.000-07:00

i found this little guy at a wawa in brick around the time of st. patty's day. i felt bad for him cuz he had no eyes and he was totally neglected on the shelf. he tasted just as delicious as all the other normal chocolate bunnies. dont judge a book by its cover.

where art thou sugar daddy?

2009-04-08T20:44:00.000-07:00

some items that are a crucial addition to my spring wardrobe.. yet with my shitty income.. totally unaffordable. I NEED YOUR HELP!

obey - $80

wesc - $80

rojas- $104

insight - $72

80%20 - $98
all of thee above can be purchased for me at 80's purple

anyone in?

2009-04-08T16:24:00.000-07:00

We can pretend were a kinky item and make some cash flow from it!Im totally down with this idea. who's in?

hoot

2009-04-06T18:35:00.001-07:00

so i decided to try drawing tonight since it was a rerun of gossip girl and i had nothing better to do

paint marker on wood

im not even sure of the inspiration behind this piece. whatever. i kinda like it. i added the corny quote just to fill empty space around the owl head. ill be working on another owl peice on wood hopefully sooner than later

april tools

2009-03-31T23:29:00.000-07:00

so at 2:05 am this morning... i get a phone call from my ex telling me he just called to let me know he's getting admitted into rehab for alcohol and coke. 3 minutes into this serious conversation he pulls the trusty "APRIL FOOLS" on me. mother fucker really got me. sad part is he was probably only fooling about the rehab part. ahhhh the kid never fails to keep me aware of why he's my ex.